TROOSTBOEK The top five regrets of the dying - Bronnie Ware

She was philosophial too about losing her little girl. Tonia had died of leukemia at eight years old. "Losing a child is as bad as everyone says it is. No parent should have to experience it. But they do you know, all over the world, every single day. I am merely one of many." I listened and appreciated the peace that came from her, as she discussed her daughter. "I am glad for her that she didn't suffer for too long. I believe she came into my life to teach me the joy of unconditional love. Since then I have been able to give that to others, even without being related to them. Dear Tonia, my dear little angel."

The memories had faded from being clear pictures in her mind, but had not diminished at all in her heart. Pearl's love for her daughter was as strong as ever. Love doesn't die, she told me joyously. She went on to share how life had been difficult for some time after Tonia's passing, taking quite a few years for the wheels to start turning again properly. But she didn't ever see herself as a victim. Although she knew the pain of losing a child and wouldn't wish that on anyone, she'd also known the joy of having a child, which as she pointed out, not everyone has such opportunity to.

We agreed there is always a gift in any challenge. "People play the victim forever," she continued. "But who are they kidding? They are only robbing themselves. Life doesn't owe you anything. Neither does anyone else. Only you owe yourself. So the best way to make the most out of life is to appreciate the gift of it, and choose not to be a victim."

(bladzijde 80 - 81)
Hay House, 2011, ISBN 978 1 84850 999 3